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The power of a stare...
Note: This post discusses a sexual trauma. Please read at your discretion.
One thing that causes a traumatic memory to haunt a person is a distorted meaning he/she attached to the disturbing event. Below is an example of a case in which we cleared the trauma by transforming a meaning the client had attached to the event.
*”Naomi” was a 39 year old divorced woman. She had started dating again, but was suddenly being troubled by flashbacks of a molestation she experienced as a child. Naomi explained that when she was 11 years old, she was spending the night at a friend’s house. She and her friend were watching a movie, and her friend’s father brought them some apple juice and snacks. Naomi remembered feeling “kind of funny” within half an hour of drinking her apple juice, and promptly fell asleep on the couch.
Sometime in the middle of the night, Naomi briefly awoke only to stare into the eyes of her friend’s father lying on top of her. At that time she wasn’t sure if she was dreaming or not. But, the next morning she was pretty sure something had happened because her clothes and legs were wet and sticky. She also had a terrible headache and suspected her apple juice had been drugged.
Initially, it appeared she was most haunted by the distorted belief that she should have done something to keep this from happening. So our first target was replacing this belief and clearing self-blame.
At our next appointment, Naomi said she was feeling less shame, but was still having anxiety and brief flashbacks. I noticed what she consistently referenced was her feelings of helplessness and the fear something more happened that she couldn’t recall. Naomi didn’t think intercourse occurred because she had no pain upon awakening, and was confirmed a virgin via medical exam in her late teens.
Suddenly, it occurred to me that perhaps when Naomi briefly woke up and stared into the eyes of the perpetrator, she spooked him. I suggested her stare may have in effect “stopped” him, & kept anything worse from happening that night.
Naomi’s face lit up as she exclaimed, “Yes, that’s possible! I was known as a tough girl in my neighborhood who used to beat up all the boys. So, this guy probably thought if I was waking up, then I’d start fighting and knock his teeth out!”
At our next session, she said, “I’ve been feeling really good!” She hadn’t had any flashbacks or nightmares at all, and reported that her relationship with her boyfriend had improved. What Naomi needed to believe was that she had responded effectively to the situation and that nothing more had happened.
It amazes me how quickly the negative effects of a trauma get cleared when you can pinpoint and transform distorted meanings. Please share your transformational stories and ideas through the comments box. I’d love to share them.
** The name and identifying details in this story have been changed to protect privacy.
Courtney Armstrong is a Licensed Professional Counselor as well as a Master Practitioner and Associate Trainer in Rapid Resolution Therapy. She has a private counseling practice in Chattanooga, TN where she specializes in treating trauma, anxiety, and grief. To contact Courtney, visit www.courtneyarmstronglpc.com.
Omega Sunrise II by Irargerich via Flickr
**Cassie came to therapy plagued by memories of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse from her childhood. She was in a good marriage now, had a sweet daughter, and many friends. Yet, Cassie continued to feel unworthy of anyone’s love.
When she was younger, Cassie’s step-father was very violent and often threatened her and her brother with a gun. Her mother constantly told her that she was “fat, lazy, and stupid.” The only person that seemed to value Cassie was her grandfather. They’d go fishing every few weeks, and he’d call Cassie “his Sunshine.” She never told her grandfather what was going on at home for fear she’d lose his love and respect too.
As Cassie and I addressed the traumatic memories from her childhood, I shared a beautiful metaphor with her that I learned from Dr. Jon Connelly. Cassie later told me that this metaphor was instrumental in her recovery, and I want to share it with you too.
First, I asked Cassie to close her eyes and imagine being out on the lake with her grandfather, hearing him call her “Sunshine.” I asked her what she felt as she recalled this experience. Cassie said, “I feel warmth, peace, and love.”
I suggested that the experience of being with her grandfather drew her awareness to where she had warmth, peace, and love at her center. In fact, this light of warmth, peace, and love wasn’t just hers. It is her essence, who she really is deep inside, and it is with her all the time.
Cassie opened her eyes and tearfully smiled as she said, “I thought I was full of darkness. But now I realize you are right, I AM the Sunshine! My grandfather saw that in me. I am not those things my mom said about me. I am the Light and can chase old shadows away.” I teared up too as I watched her entire countenance change and she got up to give me a big hug.
Cassie is an avid gardener and now teaches troubled kids how to use gardening to heal and remember that they are the “Sunshine.”
**The name and identifying details have been changed in this story to protect privacy.
Courtney Armstrong is a Licensed Professional Counselor who specializes in trauma therapy. She has a private practice in Chattanooga, TN and also trains mental health professionals in creative ways to treat trauma. To contact Courtney, visit her website at www.courtneyarmstronglpc.com
Jon Connelly, me, and some fellow RRT practitioners
Rapid Resolution Therapy™ is my treatment of choice when it comes to clearing the negative effect of traumatic memories.
This innovative method was developed by Dr. Jon Connelly and often yields results in just 1-3 sessions.
Below are some of the elements of RRT that I love:
1. Start with the solution
In RRT, you start by having the client connect to you and collaborate with them to create an image of their desired way of thinking, feeling, and responding. You use elements of hypnosis to guide them there and have them experience this desired response in a deep sensory way.
2. Keep the client emotionally present
The above process has the effect of creating a positive space where the client can stay connected and present. Then, you have the client describe “just-the-facts” of the traumatic event while remaining emotionally present to the current experience of being with you.
In my opinion, this concept of “emotional presence” is the key to clearing the troubling effect of a traumatic memory. You do not have to have the client move their eyes back and forth, or re-experience horrific feelings as old exposure therapies encouraged.
3. Use of playfulness and humor
Dr. Connelly is masterful at using play and humor to diffuse fear, anger, and shame. For example, we might have the client speak with a Valley Girl accent as she describes a disturbing event. It’s amazing how well play and humor disrupt anxiety responses Clients who came in crying, are able to laugh and find joy.
4. Use of metaphor and stories
In RRT we use lots of stories and metaphors to give clients new ways of seeing themselves and thinking about things.
One of my favorite metaphors is to consider that who you are is not your body, your thoughts, or your beliefs. Let’s think of who you really are is a being of Light at your center. A Light of peace, wisdom, and excitement. Nothing can harm a beam of light. Someone can shoot at a light beam, curse at a light beam, or try to chop it with an axe. Yet, that Light keeps on shining. It is resilient, clean, and clear. Someone may have messed with your body, but they didn’t touch that Light. That “Light” can only be touched by love that you welcome.
If you want to learn more about RRT, click here for a series of videos that will introduce you to the method.
In addition you can visit Dr. Connelly’s website at www.cleartrauma.com and check out upcoming dates for his 3-day training courses.
One of the reasons I started this blog is so we can explore ways to create therapy breakthroughs and lasting change with our clients.
In my opinion, cognitive therapy alone is limited when it comes to treating trauma or facilitating dramatic change.
Recent neuroscience discoveries appear to support this notion. However, our profession continues to promote cognitive-behavioral therapy and medications as the treatment of choice.
Don’t get me wrong; I believe cognitive therapy and medication still have useful applications. However, to treat emotional problems, you have to speak the language of the emotional brain. After all, most clients come to us because they’ve already tried applying reason, logic, and mind over matter. They show up in our office because none of that stuff worked. They understand the value of changing their behavior, but can’t seem to shift “automatic” responses.
This is because the emotional brain has its own brand of logic. It is non-verbal. It stores implicit memories. It houses the fight or flight response. It speaks in metaphors and responds to sensory and experiential learning. For deep healing to occur, we have to appeal to both the logical and emotional aspects of mind.
happyhappy by BitterScripts via Flickr
Lately, more people have considered coming off their antidepressants since Irving Kirsch released a book this year entitled “The Emperor’s New Drugs.” In his book, Dr. Kirsch reveals mounds of data suggesting that antidepressants are really no more effective than placebo, and criticizes the FDA and pharmaceutical industry’s practice of skewing data to make a buck. And, boy, have they made some big bucks off antidepressants, to the tune of $9.6 billion in 2008.
Mind you, at this point, I am not ANTI- antidepressants. Yet, I do believe doctors have been naively over-prescribing antidepressants, and probably keep people on them longer than necessary.
How do you help clients navigate this maze? Let them know that coming off antidepressants takes about 3-6 months because they have to wean slowly and allow their brain chemistry to readjust. Of course, they must consult with their doctor to develop an antidepressant tapering plan that’s specific to their needs. Many have to follow a very slow tapering process, often cutting back no more than 25% of their dosage at a time, and only making one dose reduction per month. The best book out there discussing the antidepressant tapering process is Dr. Joseph Glenmullen’s book, “The Antidepressant Solution.”
Get informed about potential discontinuation symptoms. Common withdrawal symptoms include dizziness, nausea, irritability, muscle twitches, anxiety attacks, and even suicidal ideation. Both patients and their doctors mistake these discontinuation symptoms as indications the patient still needs the medication. However, if the symptoms remit within 24 hours of restarting the medication, the symptoms were most likely due to withdrawal.
Encourage your clients to exercise. Dr. James Blumenthal at Duke University compared people who took antidepressants to people who simply added in 30 minutes of exercise 3 times per week. Not only did the group who exercised do as well as the group on antidepressants, but the exercisers maintained their mood improvements 6 months later, while the group who only took medications regressed in their mood long-term.
Adding in yoga, acupuncture, Omega 3′s and other supplemental treatments can help too.
Clients often wonder if they can come off AD’s and I think it’s important we be informed about the process, know how to support them, and communicate with their doctor. If you have any comments about this issue, please chime in!
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